Manager and Engineer

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to  make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The woman below responded, "You must be a Manager."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Be A Lion in India…!!!

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.

One day the lion thought it's prayers were answered when a US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to a US zoo.

The lion was pleased and started thinking of a central A/C environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card.

On it's first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely, for breakfast. It opened the bag quickly but was shocked to see that it contained only a few bananas.

Controlling its anger, the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India. The next day the same thing
happened.

On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered. 

Now the lion was furious. It stopped the delivery boy and blasted him, "Don't you know, I am the lion...King of the Jungle....What's wrong with your management? What nonsense is this ? Why are you delivering bananas to me ?"

The delivery boy politely said, "Sir, I know you are the King of the  Jungle but....do you know that you have been brought here on a Monkey's visa!!!

Moral: Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!